50ReasonsToHateTheFrench.co.uk - Humorous book on France and French history, by Jules Eden & Alex Clarke

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"FIRST country I have found where people have devalued my qualifications, scorned my friendliness,will not let me work, will not even smile when I pick up my daughters at school every morning. "

Thanks Mark! At least I'm not alone. In the 10 years here, no matter what I have done to integrate, it's never enough. I have not be financially assisted, have studied, paid my taxes, learnt the language, smiled genuinely and have never asked for anything in return. I have been criticised and looked down upon even when I have done volunteer work! My qualifications, degree, experience - are met with "Bof!" It's always criticism, pessimism (an employer even said if I shouldn't do the job it doesn't pay well!) or SILENCE. I don't force the friendships but they ARE incredibly hard to form. My French husband realized this when we went to Australia.



Isa - September 13th 2013

The French are a sad race nowadays.. they used to be a great nation.. but now they are arrogant, rude and lazy.. the ideal combo for an economic disaster..

Their poor attitude towards service is merely another example of their arrogance, rudeness and laziness..

What's worse is that Hollande is ensuring they will get worse before they improve.. and he has driven what's left of the humble, nice and industrious French out of France.

This country is deteriorating.. and fast!

Titillator - June 24th 2013

France is the best country and whooped England's ass in more wars than the other way around.

France even successfully invaded England in 1066...since the English are c*nts and never admit the truth, we only know that legacy and proof in the pudding is that all the royal mottos are French, the flag is in fact the Norman flag, ~50% of English words are French including royal and parliament..and all major culture and history for much of English history was French- even Shakespeare's real name 'de vere', cathedrals and many traditions were imported from France..

England sucks - March 28th 2013

France is better than england and usa hands down.

Cherie - August 16th 2010


i'm a stinky-stupid-rude-coward French, i came here because the idea '50 reasons ...' sounded funny to me, as i like to hear other pple points of view.

Isn't humor based on stereotypes and counter-truths a bit too complicated to understand for your average reader ?

I hear a lot of anti-americanism here in France, just hope it will not get worse, and won't keep pple from trying to understand better each other.

Yes we have morons, a lot of them, but don't doubt you have some too!

Yet everyone is the moron of another =)

fred - May 20th 2010

I once had a very bad experience with the french. It was so bad in fact, that I decided to never do anything french ever again, until i went to paris. This place was FULL of them! No matter where I went, those smarmy bastards were there... wanting to sell me bread, cigarettes, tight pants and cheap cologne.

It was horrible! Never in my life had I ever had to be around so much french at one time. I hated them before, but now I really hate them because my dog fifi ran away and I know some french guy sold her to a chinaman who probably fed her to me at dinner when I was in naples.

Just beware of the french... You'll be sorry if you don't!

Frenchy Leboeuf - March 31st 2010

A Frenchman I knew once insisted that I swear at him. I asked why, and he just kept insisting that I do it. Well, finally, I obliged, wondering if he were planning to turn it into some bizarre joke.....and then, wham! He slapped me so hard across the face that my ears were ringing. Why? Because "You were being vulgar".

Anyone who can work out the logic in that ungallant specimen is welcome to the French.

Fran de la Plata - May 8th 2009

"I am married to a French girl , have two Anglo-French daughters [...]

I have never in twenty years of frequenting this country met a Frenchman with a larger world-view than that of the official French party line that they are the chosen people."

Man, it's too bad for you. Maybe you should have talk with your wife before to f*** her twice then marry her. If you did it you would have seen she's stupid and have stupid friends. It's your fault man, but don't think all the french are like that...

Froggy - April 27th 2009

I have lived all around the world , two years in Saudi Arabia, three in Tokyo, two in Hong Kong, one in Spain etc blah blah, I am married to a French girl , have two Anglo-French daughters, have lived in France ten years (because it is beautiful)-this is the FIRST country I have found where people have devalued my qualifications, scorned my friendliness,will not let me work, will not even smile when I pick up my daughters at school every morning.

I have never in twenty years of frequenting this country met a Frenchman with a larger world-view than that of the official French party line that they are the chosen people.

Your first blogger here Harrie Belafonte and the whole idea of this blog is absolutely right-he says exactly what ten years of open-minded immersion has taught me. Anyone who here who says they want to live here should really think again. here it is closed ranks, group-think and economic protectionism from A to Z.Individualism or originality are hated here.

You may ask why I stay, the reason is that I have an exceptional family and physically, rural France is beautiful, socially however it kills you in about five social encounters per day. Shops, school parents, acquaintances-it is all groupthink.

Cheers Mark

Mark - May 30th 2008

For my work I have travelled all over the world and lived in many places, some better than others. I've been living now for almost two years in France, and I have one more year to go before I can return home.

In the last two years I have come to know the French as the most arrogant, egocentric, stuck-up, selfish, racist and mind-numbingly irritating people. The complete and total lack of the ability to organise, to be efficient, to make things work, and to actually do more than 8 hours of work per day themselves is staggering. I have experienced the complete lack of a sense of humor, irony or sarcasm in these people, over and over again.

The fact that this country is playing a major role in the European space program brings a big frown to my forehead, and worries me deeply. Their day to day occupation surmounts to little more than 'feeling so good that they are French', but for me, as a foreigner working and living among them, that seems hilarious. The strays in the street, glass, dogshit and vomit everywhere, always ready to shout their vermin at someone, no service, no smiles, the chaotic traffic, no parking regulations, the mental office hours and two hour lunch breaks, their peculiar eating habits, their self indulgence and nationalist pride...

Yes, the women may look pretty, but just like the food, wine or haute couture its all astonishingly overrated when you come and live in the middle of it.

After two long years in this f-ing place I have taken a solemn oath never to return here once I leave, I am counting the days.

So in short, if you think you know France and the French because you've been on holiday here, think again. Only by actually living amongst these 80 million (or so) highly unenjoyable people could you possibly have a clue of what you're talking about. So, I'll gladly volunteer for the sequel of this book, entitled:

"50000 more reasons to hate the French"

Harrie Belafontie - November 15th 2007

The whole premise of this book and most of the posts on this board are f****d. In the context of our humanity, nobody should be advancing hatred, self-fulfulling stereotypes or assholeism in general. Remember the 20th century? How can we forget the attrocities that we inflicted upon eachother and the petty hatreds that led to them. Books like this should be anathema to all of us, except for those who profit off our ignorance. Selling ignorance and distrust has always been a good way to make a buck though, or rule a nation for that matter (see: most every government since forever). What's next, 50 Reasons to hate the (your nationality here), and the companion edition How to Hate. Step-up to the 21st century boys and girls and grow the f**k up.

[Moderator's comment: Grow a sense of humour, Bob.]

Bob Vale - October 23rd 2007

I've read the book. I have spent months in France . I speak and read french . It has occured to me that i cannot name one french author of any note whom was not celebrated for their absolute disdain for their own country - Baudelaire , Mallarme , ad nauseum ... likewise , i can't come up with the name of one celebrated french writer whom wasn't a drunk/drug addict for any better reason than that they themselves didn't like being french ....

malathion - August 27th 2007

It is no secret that we French are a different species. We talk about you in our language in front of you. We may be prone to one of the highest HIV status in Europe due to our flagrant sexual slightly seedy approach to sex. But that does not mean we do not give to many AIDS causes and interests. We eat bizarre but fine traditional food.

We thrive on the illusion of image and class status but we are only human. We treat our significant others like whores and beneath us. Our politics are a bit silly and not well thought out but we are still trying to be taken seriously by the EU and US. You cannot blame our insecurity. We are constantly being reminded of our faults.

QUite frankly we love to complaint. We refuse to admit defeat and harbour contempt for Jews to this day.

In a word we are not PERFECT but who is my friends?

Gilles - August 25th 2007

"Somewhere along the way in my traditional weekend environment, I was arrogantly pursued by an ex-patriot Frenchman who felt that his previous existence as a count gave him the authority to incessantly stalk me. Not even a restraining order and the threat of being a second generation Brit would forestall his efforts. Finally, the threat of deportation by the Italian side of my family forced him back into the background."

Robert - August 21st 2007


If it wasn't for us,you'd singing "God shave the Queer" (english anthem) instead of "Stars and Stripes".

And you english are the poodle of american and your country is awful. I don't understand the "frogs" who live in your mess full of p***s and fish&chips eating islander monkeys.

[Moderator's comment: In the words of Alan Partridge: "You daft racist".]

death to all english - June 29th 2007

well, there is something interesant. English is 30% French. did you know that ? ha ha ha !

roberto - June 20th 2007

I just thought about a joke of our dear Belgians about us, the Frenchies.

God created the world: Sunday he looked at his creation. And was very disappointed.

He looked at England and found that too cold, rainy. After Spain too hot, America too big, Belgium too small (yes).

And after he looked at France. Size perfect, a lot of different weather, a lot of fruits/vegetables animals, open on 5 sea, Alps, Pyrennées, just the perfect country.

It was a little bit unfair


He created the French.

And Another:

You know why the rooster is the symbol of French?

Because there is just one animal which can sing the feet in its shit

Yes we have sense of humor as the editors of this website

Guillaume - February 5th 2007

Bonjour mes amis.

In advance I'm sorry for my awful English (or American don't know). You're right me too, I hate these dammed froggies. They only work 35 hours per day (in theory), the guns are forbidden (in theory) and they are selfish (yes that's right), they fink - sorry joke - they think they are the most intelligent people in the world (but not the dumbest president in the world), they eat the most tasty food, they have the best history (a few wars, lost most of them) and they have the most beautiful girls (I'm sorry but that is right).

So why I'm so proud to be French?

I really don't know, maybe because I'm French and that's enough

Guillaume - February 5th 2007

this is horrible.!!!!......you mean..mean people...

mary mac millagen - November 13th 2006

I had a French teacher in college. She is an American WANNABE French woman with all of the holier than thou, looking down her pointed nosed, stuck up, better than you attributes I've heard and read about the French. On their attitudes about Americans…if it weren't for us they'd all be speaking German.

Charlie - October 2nd 2006

THE FORBIDDEN SCARF: Los Angeles, 1992, did you forget?

During this event, I was with some co-workers of the US, they thought it was the war in France. They were a bit scared. But after spending a week with me in Paris, they realized that maybe some US or British news were not right.

Strange, isn't it?

Emilien - September 11th 2006

Thanks for including my comment and…PS.

Can you imagine the uproar if a Frenchman (just for a bit of fun, so that we could laugh at ourselves) wrote a book generalising about the UK and the British? Highlighing everything negative they could find.

There'd be rattles flying out of prams all over the country.

[Moderator's comment: I wish they would.]

Paul Tomlin - September 8th 2006

Fascism is not an opinion, its a crime.

Think about this one.

Oh and about this one too: understanding of historical context. It's a sad thing to read the words of a crazed adult who has probably never gone to history class.

Oh and you might want to look up xenophobia in a dictionary. Psychologists all over the world have agreed that it stems from poor self-image, mental problems and a lack of social contacts.

You might think I'm french, well ignorant you.

Probably never had a German defending the French huh?

Poor guy, best wishes…

[Moderator's comment: Surely only an ignorant xenophobic fascist would find it unusual that a German would defend the French.]

Human - September 7th 2006

What a sad site.

To suggest that 60 million people are the same is daft beyond words. And are we to pressume that all Brits, Americans etc are perfect?

Someone either has a cranky sense of humour or has far too much time on their hands.

I'm sure this site/book will be very popular with readers of newspapers like the Mail, Sun and Express. i.e. a bit insecure and unquestioning.

Paul Tomlin - September 5th 2006

Another great book written I am sure by a great man that everyone in this country should worship!

I am so proud to live in England and not in France…A country where too many English are spending their time and money in my opinion.

Vive Saint Georges cross

David - August 18th 2006

Speed demons my AREsen Wenger. The only nation slower than the Frenchies are the yanks and Canadians (imagine how slow a French Canadian is).

Its all good though, they leave the roads clear for me to get from Calais to the alps in under two hours, their slowness is due to two reasons, the age of their cars and their unwillingness to pay the tolls, vive la motorist francais!

Yankee Yankleyorker - August 17th 2006

Yes, the French are speed demons (but I find they have amazing control of their cars and very quick reaction times). I'm an American married to a Frenchman and living in France. We got married in the States and his family came. They remarked that Americans do "respecter la distance" between cars on the highway and drive much slower.

My "favorite" French attitude is that it is YOUR fault when THEY are wrong and you are supposed to apologize! Once in Paris, a tall young woman ran into me and rammed my shoulder hard. So what does she do? Yell at me as if I ran into her: "'Pardon'--ça existe!" ("There is such a thing as 'Excuse me!'").

Hoosierfemme - August 15th 2006

Cher Mr Jules Eden, cher Mr Alex Clarke

Pour faire de l'argent, vous insultez vos voisins. Bravo!!! Vous êtes de grands auteurs !!!

Dear Mr. Jules Eden, dear Mr. Alex Clarke

To make money, you insult your neighbors. Cheer!!! You are large authors!!!

[Moderator's comment: I've seen larger.]

Michel - August 15th 2006

que de méchancetée dans vos propos.On voit bien à travers eux que vous ne connaissez pas grand chose à la France et aux Français.

Pascal - August 7th 2006

"I'm sure any French reader with all the humour, modesty and generosity of their nation will see that this book is intended as a gentle joke." AC

Well, according to the comments on this board - and following the welcome narrow-minded approach of this board "every of my own little life experience is definite truth" - I can assume at least that humour, modesty and generosity is an exclusive French virtue.

"Why do the French condemn Coalition actions in Iraq while their own army rampages through the Ivory Coast?

How do they reconcile being such animal-lovers that Michelin-starred restaurants let dogs eat at the table, yet every summer, they go hunting for songbirds to crush with large stones?

What exactly do they mean by "Liberté, Egalité et Fraternité" and how did these principles lead to the world's first guillotine-powered, slave-owning, totalitarian dictatorship?

When did the French, the most unhygienic nation in Europe according to their own newspapers, become home to some of the world's most fabulous scents?" JE

At least nice intention from the authors to admit that they just didn't find any clue and understand nothing…it just announce cleverly all the interesting reflections we will have in this book.

What to say? Just an another disappointing, useless book with heavy convenient generalizations. Uninteresting.

"Then again, we wanted to produce something that would sell." AC

I think it is at least a good and deserved conclusion for you and your public. Don't stop you have some good obedient sheep stock behind you and a guaranteed future!

nada - July 25th 2006

I have never been to France but my sister has. She had a relatively nice expereince because she was on a class trip for band. Except she did mention that when their band was playing in an open area that some of the Parisians spit on one of the drummers. They never really figured out WHY that happened but it did

[Moderator's comment: Maybe they were rubbish.]

Ramona - July 25th 2006

We had an odd semi-encounter with a young French couple during our recent New York trip. We were in a restaurant on Lexington Avenue, and the French couple were seated just after we were, a couple of tables away. The young French man lit a cigarette, and a waiter asked him to extinguish it because no smoking was allowed. The young man shrugged and continued to puff.

His wife or girlfriend translated the request into French, and he finally made a face and crushed out the smoke on the floor. As soon as the waiter had gone, he lit another cigarette, the girl spoke to him, and he slapped her across the face - hard! - and then got up, still smoking, and left the restaurant. The weeping girl followed him out, and that was the last we saw of them.

[Moderator's comment: The cheek of the girl.]

Marcy - July 25th 2006

I was in the London Planetarium and sitting behind me was a party of French school children. Just as we were passing Mars they began swearing in English and speaking to each other very loudly (in English) and still swearing. As we were approaching Sirius I turned round and asked them to be quiet. I received Gaullish shrugs and, 'Je ne parle l'Anglais.' (Pardon my French) I spoke to the teachers once we were back on Earth and they too shrugged and said there was nothing they could do.

Joe Green - July 25th 2006

The only bad encounter I've had with French citizens were the obnoxious girls working at the French pavilion at EPCOT several years ago. I dared to make an order at the crepe stand and apparently interrupted their conversation, getting me a dirty look to start off with. I then made a mistake ordering (a line of text on the menu was scraped off, so I thought the crepes came with chocolate, not seeing that the "chocolate" actually referred to ice cream flavors), which was greeted with eye-rolling and words exchanged in French between the two workers.

On a different day (same trip) I went to the store in the pavilion to have a passport stamped for my little sister. She couldn't make the trip, so I thought it would make a nice gift for her. Again, the two workers at the perfume shop in the French pavilion were the only people who had a problem with this - they chewed me out because the passports were meant for little kids, and completely ignored me when I attempted to explain it WAS for a kid! There was nobody else in the store, and yet I felt like asking for the stamp was a major intrusion upon their business.

I felt bad for anybody who visited the pavilion during that time - the people working there during that period certainly weren't doing much to fight that whole stereotype about the French being rude. Only time I've ever had that kind of crappy experience at Disney though, must just have had bad luck to stumble into the handful of cranky castmembers

Atrsa - July 25th 2006

I was recently in the south of France, hoping to prove wrong the notion that the French are a rude, inconsiderate, impolite nation of people.

Sadly, I found my experience to be just another example to strengthen their reputation.

The women may well be some of the most beautiful, sophisticated, stylish in the world - not much use if they are too rude to consider speaking to you…

Mike Fot - July 24th 2006

We are all created by God and he has made us all equal in his eyes no matter the race and colour.

We can't all be the same.

[Moderator's comment: Can I blame God for making me crap at football?]

Modupe - July 21st 2006

Great idea for a book guys, well done!!

I work out here in Paris, and yes, anti-semitism is still a national pastime out here. And you can imagine the shit I am getting over the current situation.

But you try reminding them of the fact that if they hadn't screwed up the Marshall plan after WW1, then there wouldn't have been a WW2, no genocide, thus no Israel, and no problems now.

Problem is that their history books only go back as far as '98 when they won the World Cup…

AnonBanker - July 20th 2006

Is it me, or are the French the worst tailgaters in the world?

Last year on a 2 laner across Northern France, we hit the worst rainstorm outside of Dacca in monsoon season. So bad in fact, there were 2 cars spun on their backs on the hardshoulder. So you would figure to slow down to 50 or 60 for a bit.

But this asshole was right up my bumper, lights flashing, horn blowing. I couldn't pull in as it was thick traffic, and he could see that, but carried on being a twat.

Pulled in, and guess what. Yup, a peage a mile down the road, so it made no difference at all.

As he was 2 cars in front, I went to have a word.

And there was the best version of a French Chav I have ever seen. Blonde tart by his side and 2 wolves in the back.

All he could say was "F*** you asshole" to me, repeatedly.


Dreyfusard - July 20th 2006

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